Absolute Blue Invitation 5/11/12-5/12/12

Absolute Blue Figures

Some time ago, under the veil of secrecy and Fifth Amendment considerations, Absolute Blue secretly partnered with a marginally reputable Marketing Research firm and brokered a deal for them to supply detailed statistics regarding our target market in exchange for dropping unfounded charges and having Don refrain from emailing questionable materials to their corporate headquarters. We are now proud to present a sampling of the result of this year long effort to define our customer profile:

61% favor same sex marriages; 59% also favor same species marriages

32% favor the death penalty; 31% of those for people that favor same species marriages

41% believe in the existence of a higher power; 31% of those think it’s Nancy Pelosi

72% favor a complete military withdrawal of Afghanistan; 92% of those couldn’t spell it (withdrawal)

18% believe in reincarnation; 10% of those want to come back as the same sex; 8% same species; 6% Nancy Pelosi; 2% as flowers

Absolute Blue plans to use these in a variety of ways to allow us to increase customer satisfaction, provide a more enjoyable experience for our audience and for our general amusement…

Join us Friday for an evening of premeditated transgressions at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11..

Then Saturday at Lou's Blues from 9:30 to 1:30...

Absolute Blue Invitation 4/06/12-4/07/12

Absolute Blue Apologizes...Again

We would like to take this opportunity to apologize for portions of last week's invitation. We unwittingly purchased a language translation application that was touted to be able to accept text from a variety of platforms and intepret this into a number of different languages including Meruvian, Mandalorian and Nadsat with the goal of providing you with a fresh and unique way of delivering our weekly message. Imagine our surprise when instead of a carefully crafted notification presented to you in Klingon, we wound up with a grammatically incorrect message in Romulan. And not even the Low Rihan dialect. Needless to say we have logged a formal complaint against the manufacturer and have stopped payment on the check...

In other similar but unrelated news we are still attempting to regain control of our twitter account but as yet we have been unable to presumably due to the fact that we have little if any idea what the hell we are doing. We have tried a number of strategies such as Please, Pretty Please, followed by begging but to no avail. It has been so long since we have twittered and/or tweeted any number of mind numbing and inconsequential tidbits that we fear we have forgotten how to pester you with arcane thoughts, but no worries. We'll be up and abusing our privileges in no time...

Until then we will see you at Lou's Blues this Friday from 9:30 to 1:30...

Then Saturday it's back to The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in downtown Grant from 6 to 10...

Absolute Blue Invitation 3/30/12-4/01/12

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And after we apologized to Federal and Local Health Agencies all charges were dropped. Join us for a full weekend of musical mayhem with The Worst Band You'll Ever Love beginning this Friday, March 30, at Crossroads in Palm Bay from 9 to 1...

Then Saturday begins a rare doubleheader in Cocoa Beach at Coconuts March 31 from 7 to 11...

Then it's the Sand Bar, again in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, April 1 from 4 to 8...