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Absolute Blue Invitation 12/14/12 - 12/15/12
Absolute Blue Quiz
OK, it’s time for a pop quiz. Place your books on the floor and take out your number 2 pencil. Keep your eyes front and relax. It’s an easy one:
Match the signature line to the corresponding holiday movie:
A) God bless us everyone. 1) Scrooged
B) I believe. 2) Miracle on 34th Street
C) Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings. 3) Christmas Vacation
D) The bitch hit me with a toaster. 4) It’s a Wonderful Life
E) Shitters full. 5) A Christmas Carol
See? You probably passed. But before we forget, we ran another holiday favorite through our patented carolitic converter and this is what we came up with:
Kevin got run over by a John Deer
Mowing lawns one tipsy weekday night
Don says scotch and lawn care can be trouble
And me and Mary Kay both think he’s right
Yes, that’s ho, ho, horrible. But if you think that’s bad, check us out this weekend, starting with an evening at Lou’s Blues Friday from 9:30 to 1:30…
Then we do it again 6 to 10 at The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant on Saturday…
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/30/12 - 12/02/12
Absolute Blue's Holidaze
Now that we’ve survived Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Ashura, the International Day For the Elimination of Violence Against Women, Cyber Monday and the National Day of Listening, we look forward to the bevy of holidays that lay before us. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukah or National Meth Awareness Day, there’s something for everyone here at Absolute Blue. And as always we try to accommodate all denominations, races, political parties, species, genders, and shoe sizes. Please let us know if we’re neglected your specific niche and we will work towards some inclusionary documentation or at least a twitter. And as we take part in our peculiar customs that can and sometimes do involve hanging footwear, an overweight senior citizen with an extensive gift distribution system, flying caribou, or a number of other implausible if not improbable concepts, we ask our particular deity for a little something special this season:
Skip: A stocking full of apathy.
Don: Knocking? I don’t hear any knocking.
Kevin: The Justin Bieber Action Figure Gift Set.
Tom: To become truly technologically aware.
Bill: A Nancy Pelosi pinup calendar.
Lofty? Perhaps. Absurd? Certainly. But that fits in with the fine holiday tradition of The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love and this time we promise to clean up after ourselves...
And our gift to you is a full weekend of excessively mediocre entertainment beginning Friday at The Avenue in Viera from 6 to 9...
Then we continue giving with a Saturday at The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina from 6 to 9...
And we wrap things up with a Sunday at Coconuts from 2 to 6...
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/23/12 - 11/24/12
Absolute Blue Gives Thanks
This year The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love gives thanks for many things, including affordable health care, a selfless, caring government and Kim Kardashian. But seriously, this is the time we gather together with family and friends and reflect on our blessings. Time to put petty differences aside on concentrate on the truly significant differences between us. We have thought long and hard on this and come up with some global areas which we collectively are thankful for, like basic cable, Silicone and indoor plumbing, but interestingly enough, we polled our membership and came up with even more:
Don: Innovative technology allowing us to effortlessly connect with loved ones, as well as the Lingerie Football League.
Skip: The festive gathering of kith and kin, the warmth of a holiday fire and Twinkies.
Kevin: The bounty of our oceans and seas, and how we can market it for profit. That and gravity.
Tom: The many freedoms we enjoy, provided by proclamation and protected by law. Also fermentation and its many uses.
Bill: Republicans and Sportscenter.
But most of all we're thankful for getting together with friends every weekend and enjoying good times and tolerable music...
Like this Friday at Squid Lips from 7 to 11...
And again at the Tiki Bar in Sebastian, just south of Main Street, Saturday 7 to 11...
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/16/12 - 11/17/12
Absolute Blue Defined
Absolute Blue (?æbsol??t?bl?u’)
— n
1. a Floridian central east coast musical organization of dubious proficiency and questionable temperament
2. devoid of reason or common sense
3. (usually capital) complete disorder; utter confusion
Origin:
1991-1993; < Late of Hot Gossip, a largely ignored ensemble of indeterminate intent; derivative of Shades of Grey, Elgin Hooper, Trade Secrets, et al.)
Related forms
ab·so·lut·bluous·ly, adverb; foolishly or irrelevantly; He spent his money absolutbluously.
ab·so·lut·bluous·ness, noun; banned or illicit behavior; He was arrested on several counts of absolutbluousness.
ab·so·lut·blu·ish, adjective; foul or malodorous; Don’t eat that fishdip, as it smells a bit absolutbluish.
un·ab·so·lut·blu·ish, adjective; fetching, captivating; That color looks very unabsolutbluish on you.
un·ab·so·lut·bluous·ly, adverb; smoothly, without fault; She unabsolutbluously complete a triple lutz.
un·ab·so·lut·bluous·ness, noun; steadfast, dedicated; He loved that puppy for its unabsolutbluousness.
Synonyms
[nonsensical, worthy of ridicule or derision, farcical. See absurd.]
Antonyms
[sensible, rational.]
This weekend we give thanks for Jaeger beginning Friday night at Lou’s Blues from 9:30 to 1:30…
Then Saturday it’s back to The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant from 6 to 10…
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