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Absolute Blue Invitation 1/10/14 - 1/12/14
Absolute Blue's Vortexting
Once again we find ourselves the envy of the nation. With the rest of the country in an unprecedented deep freeze, requiring many Kentuckians to relieve themselves indoors lest risk losing appendages, most of Maine and New Hampshire cancelled Tuesday and some of Wednesday. But while much of life in the north has come to a standstill, we have our own Solar Vortex to contend with. While we don't have to deal with snotcicles, I mean, really, how do you surf when it's two foot and choppy? The gusty winds make volleyball all but impossible. And forget about local color. With these overcast skies your best bet is the tanning salon. And don't even get me started on fishing. The crappie aren't crapping, the tuna aren't tuning, the grouper aren't grouping, the perch aren't perching, the snappers aren't snapping and the sturgeon aren't stirring. Might as well be in Scranton...
This weekend we move on down the evolutionary line, from cattle to primates, with a Friday night 9 to 1 at Bunky's Monkey Bar in Indialantic, across from Paradise Beach...
Then Saturday it's back to The Old Fish House in Grant from 6 to 10. Don't worry if it's a tad bit chilly, Kevin's got enough Sterno and Jaeger to keep us all toasty...
Absolute Blue Invitation 1/03/14 - 1/05/14
Happy Absolute Blue Year!
The best of all New Years to each and every one! We at Absolute Blue are looking forward to another fruitful year featuring some new innovations from The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love, including a unique style of rap with a Jimmy Buffet feel called flip-flop hip-hop and an alternative to traditional toilet paper which is still awaiting FDA approval. But in the meantime we provide for you a full weekend of musical opportunities…
Friday we’re back at the Tiki Bar in Sebastian (on Indian River Dr, just south of Main St) from 7 to 11…
Then it’s back to Squid Lips in Melbourne Saturday from 7 to 11…
Don goes honk
Bill goes bang
Tom goes boom
Skip goes twang
But there’s one noise
That we don’t know
It’s kinda strange
And might just blow
What does the elk say?
Come find out this Sunday from 4 to 7 at the Melbourne Elks. Your $10 cover goes to veterans and children’s charities and is an easy way to help others while enjoying the inimitable musicality of Absolute Blue in a new venue with good people and cheap drinks. Check out the new Elks! For tickets call 501.2591.
Absolute Blue Invitation 12/27/13 - 12/28/13
Absolute Blue Holinites
We have one order of business this week. To ensure all have a Merry Christmas. You may think that it’s too late but in most of Greenland and parts of Nepal it is still 12/25. So feel free to carry on in that fine holiday tradition as long as it doesn’t include twerking, Kardasians or other felonies…
OK, two orders of business. We apologize for misidentifying the call of the mighty Elk. Instead of the aforementioned ‘Moo’, it in fact creates a more soothing cooing sound. But don’t take our word for it. Come on down to the Melbourne Elks (211 S Nieman Ave) on January 5th from 4 to 8 and see for yourself. Your $10 cover goes to benefit multiple Veterans groups and may or may not be tax deductible. For tickets call AJ at 501.2591. What better way to help other than by cutting loose with The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love? You’ll be glad you did…
OK, one more. Join us for the last performance before New Years at Neptune in Satellite Beach (formerly the Cove) from 9 to 1 Saturday…
We are done.
Absolute Blue Invitation 12/20/13 - 12/21/13
Absolute Blue Jingles
It’s that time of year when we pull out all the holiday traditions we’ve come to know and love, but have you ever questioned how or why we do this? For example, Christmas Carols. Have you truly examined the words associated with the songs we’ve sung all our lives, or simply repeated recitations memorized automatically just like times tables or centerfold measurements? I mean, what exactly goes into ‘figgy pudding’? And Don takes particular exception to the season as his clothing is continually mocked, but the reality is that to call his attire ‘gay’ is actually an affront to members of the alternative lifestyle worldwide. So Absolute Blue has assembled the following to aid you in your holiday caroling:
-Sometimes referred to as ‘Whatshisname’, Wenceslas was a 9th century Duke of Bohemia, posthumously upgraded to King, and the Feast of Steven is not in fact a subtle Hannibal Lector reference.
-Parumpapapa is not the capital of New Guinea but in fact onomatopoeic for a rhythmic drum cadence.
-Auld Lang Syne is neither ancient nor related to mathematical functions but is translated idiomatically as ‘long, long ago’.
-The phrase “In egg shell sees Day-o” is Latin for ‘Glory to God in the Highest’, referencing neither improper baking techniques nor Harry Belafonte.
-Trolling the ancient yuletide carol has less to do with maintaining the proper distance and depth for your bait as it does to the way the song is sung. Ok, maybe both.
Go forth and sing with confidence.
Friday we tend to a private party but Saturday is the last Grant appearance this year with an evening at The Old Fish House from 6 to 10…
And make sure to mark your calendar for our party at the Melbourne Elks Sunday, January 5, 2014 from 4 to 7. This is a benefit and your chance to start the New Year by helping others and having a good time. For tickets call 321.501.2591 and check out the Elks! Mooo....
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