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Absolute Blue Invitation 7/04/13 - 7/07/13
Absolute Blue Sanctioned
Absolute Blue returns after being suspended for a week for testing positive for a number of performance enhancing substances. Since this was not their first infraction, their governing body, The Organization{jcomments off} of Musicians International Group for Operational Decency, had no choice but to take immediate and decisive action. The ruling itself is questionable, due to evidence that samples were tampered with, resulting in them being replaced with stunt urine, placed there by disgruntled former employees, gruntled present employees or numerous creditors. The simple fact that OMIGOD has indicated each member of the organization tested positive for a different substance is enough to give one pause. To wit:
Skip tested positive for Limpocet, a drug designed to counter the effects of a series of other ‘performance enhancing’ drugs as well as promoting good digestion.
Kevin’s sample was tainted with Mopissinol, an antiseptic diuretic which may or may not cause excess elimination. Depends.
Tom was found with Standstillicilin in his system, which reverses the symptoms of vertigo and clears up fungal infections.
Bill tested positive for Arythimicin, which directly affects the central nervous system, encouraging the regularity of meter as well as preventing halitosis.
Don had more than the legal limit of Idunnitol, which produces symptoms of every major pharmaceutical group and is a potent purgative.
We plan to fight these largely baseless and fundamentally unsubstantiated charges with the same incompetency we apply to our music just as soon as we retain legal counsel willing to work for free beer…
In the meantime we present a full weekend of entertainment options for you beginning with a fourth of July afternoon at Sebastian at their 4th festival from 12 to 2 at Riverview Park, just south of US1 and Sebastian Blvd…
Then Friday it’s back to Squid Lips from 7 to 11…
Saturday it’s The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant from 6 to 10…
And we wrap up the holiday weekend at Coconuts from 2 to 6 on Sunday…
Absolute Blue Invitation 6/14/13 - 6/16/13
Absolute Blue Returns
We return after a successful weekend in North Carolina where we introduced the Raleigh locals to our own blend of rock and funk which they are still recovering from. After they introduced us to a blend of gin and bourbon that we are still recovering from. During the course of our journey we made a series of operational and strategic decisions regarding the future direction of the organization. We decided that there are a series of jokes, shticks and anecdotes that we have officially relegated to the Absolute Blue archives. This includes Chunks, Pants on the ground and Patrick Swayze jokes. Also being considered for retirement are:
____Never got to Bangor.
____Did you jump?
____But first.
And while we reconfirmed The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love as our official slogan, we are still looking for a new catchphrase. Among the candidates:
____I’m that guy from that thing!
____Da Hoppa.
____I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
____Nobody puts Billy in the corner.
And here’s the best part: You can participate! Simply mark the lame joke or phrase you’d like to hear over and over again and your vote will be tabulated along with several others to make you an informal, unofficial, unauthorized kind of executive producer of the Absolute Blue show!
This weekend hold boundless opportunities to consider yourself entertained, if boundless really means three. We start things off with the Friday Fest in downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10...
Then Saturday it’s back to Squid Lips from 7 to 11…
And Sunday brings us to The Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 4 to 8….
Absolute Blue Announcement 6/06/13
This weekend we journey to North Carolina for a private party but make sure to get down to our next performance on June 14th at Downtown Melbourne Friday Fest from 6 to 10…
And while this may not be the correct time and/or place, we would like to draw your attention to a more serious subject. We participated in a project in 2011 to recover the wreckage from my father’s cousin’s plane which was lost over the Himalayas, or The Hump, in 1942. He along with the pilot and communications officer were killed and it took renewed Sino/American relations, painstaking research, a bit of luck and a superhero by the name of Clayton Kuhles from www.MIARecoveries.org to take on the mission to recover the aircraft. For years he has funded these recovery missions himself, but with changing economic conditions he is now longer able to. He is anxious to return to his Asian visits, now armed with the locations of a number of wreckages, but can’t make the trips until funding is found. An Indigogo page (http://igg.me/at/FindTheMIAs) has been created to generate funds for his next mission and we ask that you please take a look and check it out. If you feel so moved to donate it will go to finding servicemen and finally bringing them home…
Absolute Blue Invitation 5/31/13 - 6/02/13
Absolute Blue's Solipsism
Before we continue we would like to clarify a few things. Contrary to public belief we at Absolute Blue do not condone not participate in the tomfoolery, monkeyshines, shenanigans, twaddle, chicanery, hypocrisy and/or highjinks that have been commonly associated with The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love. Sure, Don once super glued a senator’s butt cheeks together and Kevin made over 12,000 prank calls in 2012 alone, but these are isolated events which we hope to put behind us as soon as the statute of limitations has expired. So it's not just drinking beer, mild cursing and fart jokes when we're not playing. That's actually when we ARE playing. But seriously, there is another side to the band as well. We decided to make the most of our time off and use this break for peaceful introspection and rumination, as each member pursued their unique discipline:
Skip completed his multi part analysis of Sartre’s ‘Transcendence of the Ego’ and completed volume II of his response to the contradictory nature of the work, albeit in crayon.
Don continued his hobby of researching nineteenth century impressionists from Degas to Pissarro and completed his replica of Morisot’s Cradle composed entirely of Bud Light bottle caps.
Kevin began an intense examination of Italian Neorealism reviewing the works of De Sica and Visconti as well as staging a companion piece to Rosselini’s Paisan specifically for Muppets.
Bill took time to extend his knowledge of linguistics, focusing this time on the dead languages of Sanskrit and Sumerian, translating volumes of historical text beginning with Dr Dre.
And Tom had some warts removed.
We have prepared a very special weekend for you beginning Friday at Squid Lips from 7 to 11…
Then we move on down to Grant with a performance at The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina from 6 to 10…
And we finish things up at Coconuts Sunday from 2 to 6…
Upcoming Events
Sun May 22 @ 4:00PM - 08:00PM Squid Lips |
Fri May 27 @ 7:00PM - 11:00PM Tiki |
Sat May 28 @ 6:00PM - 10:00PM Barefoot Bay |
Sun May 29 @ 4:00PM - 08:00PM Malabar Mo's |
Sat Jun 04 @ 6:00PM - 10:00PM Mainstreet |