Absolute Blue Invitation 09/21/19 - 09/22/19

Absolute Blue Pasturizes

Hello there! Member us? You know, the band with horns? Yep, we’re back and ready to entertain and amuse you. And now that the incident at the Taco Bell drive thru is a distant memory we can get on with our lives. Who knew that ‘behind the bushes’ versus ‘in the bushes’ would mean the difference between a misdemeanor and a felony? And how can it be considered a hate crime when everyone loves tacos? As legal counsel and the good state of Florida have both advised, we will not speak of this again. Instead, we look to our future, planning for that time when we are ready for retirement. We have reviewed many options including single care, group homes and several cardboard boxes and after long deliberation have come up with the following:

-Bill has agreed in principle to join the area’s first Republican only facility, O’Reilly’s O’Resthome. What really sealed the deal was the newly installed stripper pole. Even now he is stockpiling rolls of quarters.

-Skip is interested in the newest clothing optional accommodations, Peckeridge Farms, where he can literally hang out with all his friends. However rules indicate that members over a certain age wear either a protective flap or incontinent undergarment, depends.

-Kevin chose a water themed institution, Aqua ‘R’ Us, whereby through a series of tubes and resonant chambers he can not only sleep but communicate and intelligently converse with the fishes.

-Our trumpet player was the easiest to place. One phone call to A Place For Don and he was recommended to Soylently Green, an eco-friendly short term residential home that promises excellent care for the first week then assured that he will be served in many ways after that.

-Tom has opted for Windbreakers, For The Excessively Flatulent, Overtly Vaporous and Perpetually Noxious. Ask him about his fartometer.

Join us for a Saturday night at Malabar Mo’s, at the corner of US1 and Malabar Road, from 7 to 11…

And make plans now for our debut at the NEW Whiskey Beach, 1462 A1A, formerly The Cove, next Saturday, 9/28, from 8 to 12:00…

Absolute Blue Invitation 08/09/19 - 08/10/19

Absolute Blue Musicalizes

As Don often tells us, everyone loves a good showtune. And you may not be aware, but the Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has had a substantial presence in local theatre. Just last year our dual performance as both the Sharks and the Jets in a local High School performance of West Side Story, while universally panned, was the high point of the production, at least from one inebriated reviewer who may well have seen Aquaman by mistake. And more recently our portrayal of the hills in The Sound of Music really came alive. Also, local reviewers reported that we put the ‘grey’ in Hair, calling our rendition of Aquarius ‘Hilariously nefarious’. Unfortunately, we just missed out on the lead in Camelot apparently for not bringing enough camel to the audition, which by the way tastes like chicken. So we decided to come up with our own song titles, each with its own personal spin. Because, after all we’re just a band. Standing in front of a crowd. Asking them to love us.

-Tom reflects on the sympathy card he received from Senators Smith and Hassan: Don’t Cry For Me Marge and Tina.

-Kevin reminds us that he draws intricate pictures of his horn: Kevin Depicts Trombones.

-Don honors a late dinner he attended with Representative Graves and former Attorney General Reno: Sam And Janet Evening.

-Bill professes his love of aged stout beer: There’s No Guinness Like Old Guinness.

-Skip looks forward to a return trip to the capital of Virginia: If I Was In Richmond.

Join us for a Saturday evening at Sunset Waterfront Grill in Cocoa Beach from 5 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 08/02/19 - 08/03/19

Absolute Blue Trainicizes

We at The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love have always been interested in physical fitness. We enjoy reading and learning about it as well as watching other people do it. But recently there have been some alarming trends regarding a longstanding fitness regime that needs to be addressed if not federally regulated. It seems the yoga we were told about as youngsters has now been ritualistically segmented into different disciplines similar to the Protestant Church a few years back. We now have hot or cold yoga, probably depending on your fitness level, yoga with cattle, probably violating a number of local and/or state regulations, and stool yoga, which just sounds gross. This all seems innocent enough but then again so did Scientology, vaccines and reality tv. So somebody perfected the art of yoga with a spatula. I mean how hard can that be? It is with this in mind that we have developed, trademarked and copyrighted our own conditioning classifications and bestowed upon ourselves the title of Master in each:

-Kevin advises you get ready to advocate, abrogate and ablate upstate with his Saratoga Yoga.

-Don infuses elements of olfactory therapy into his newest offering, odoriferously called Aroma Yoga.

-Bill created a discipline that combines eastern mysticism with traditional Indian roots that he calls Pagoda Yoga.

-Tom introduces affordable reliability into your workout with Toyota Corolla Yoga.

-Skip says, use the force for your conditioning, you will, with Yoda Yoga.

Join us Friday for an evening at Gator’s Dockside at the Port from 6 to 10…

Then Saturday it’s the Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 9 to 1…