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Absolute Blue Invitation 12/06/19 - 12/07/19
Absolute Blue Vegetizes
In an effort to drain the last bit of value from our health plan this year, as well as take advantage of a Groupon, we collectively went to the doctor last week and after a cursory exam we were told the only thing that would alleviate our many and varied ailments was more roughage. So Don punched Kevin, Kevin kicked Tom, Tom slapped Skip, Skip whacked Bill and Bill smacked Don, while the doctor watched in amazement. Turns out we just needed to get more fiber. He gave us two options, either a suppository, which we googled and, well, no. Or to eat more vegetables. This seemed much less invasive, but we didn’t want to settle for the simple joy of Bok Choy or the gender insensitive Chickpea. So we each developed our own unique recipe which represents our own personality and cultural heritage and also conforms to our own culinary program we like to call Make America Grate Again, which is sure to put the itch back in spinach:
-Pucumbers: Laced with croton oil, this potent purgative has been a staple in Kevin’s family for generations. Guaranteed to spew the stew, hurl the swirl and gag the nag.
-Okra Winfrey: Skip’s most inspiring recipe garnered rave reviews for its texture and presentation. Proudly served to all freedom loving Americans with no apologies.
-Sasquash: Based on the zucchini of mythical proportions, this seldom seen and rarely photographed dish is a favorite of Bill’s although he never remembers ever having it. Most probably more urban legend than food.
-Below Parsnips: Tom’s underachieving dish strives for mediocrity then fails miserably. Similar in experience to chewing a used damp sweat sock only without the nutritional value.
-Swiss Charred: Culinary history was made when Don mistakenly burned some of that cheese with the holes in it.
Join us for a Friday night at Sunset Waterfront Grill and Bar in Cocoa Beach, on 520 at the river, from 5 to 10…
Then Saturday it’s the Tiki in Sebastian, on Indian River just south of Main Street, from 7 to 11…
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/29/19 - 12/01/19
Absolute Blue Benefitizes
It’s the time of year when we are required to enroll in a specific benefit plan for the coming year. And Absolute Blue Inc offers a wide array of products designed to provide a foundation for future success as well as security for any unforeseeable occurrence related to physical, mental or spiritual health. Fortunately, Absolute Blue Cross has been created for this very purpose. Unfortunately Tom struggles with some related core concepts and wanted to sign up for an HMO to catch up on Game Of Thrones, thought the accidental death policy covered being killed by a hatchet wielding dentist, giggles when we mention PPO, thinks coinsurance covers nickels and dimes, that a dependent refers to taking off a necklace and has to stretch before accessing his flexible spending account. I’d try to explain it to him but I’m out of time and crayons…
You’re welcome, Rickey…
Join us for the Black Friday memorial celebration at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…
Then Sunday it’s a Post Black Friday/Pre Cyber Monday event at Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/22/19 - 11/23/19
Absolute Blue Travelizes
Despite our recently disclosed and internationally documented travel quandaries, there was a time when The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love called exotic and far flung locales home. From Kevin’s extensive military tours to Tom’s attempt to elude authorities through a series of EU nations, we have left an indelible mark on many a foreign city. You could say we put the rock in Morocco. Or the bull in Bolivia. Or the dumb ass in Damascus. But Syriasly we could go Lebanon and on. Most of the band did love Haiti and Oregon, less Mauritania, but me, Utah. Like anywhere else, in time we were asked to leave, so we had to say goodbye to Dubai, farewell to Seychelles, adieu to Peru, ciao to Macau and hasta la vista to the Sandinista. A few of our international highlights:
-Skip, after house arrest in Budapest, had so many problems getting into Nepal, he wound up in Cantmandu.
-Don visited all the pubs in Dublin and thinks he remembers when Tunisia was just one. Or maybe that was Amnesia.
-Tom was traveling in Southeast Asia where the busking community thrives, however was cited, convicted and barely escaped jailtime for Singing Poor in Singapore.
-Kevin’s dream of visiting the Netherlands turned into such a nightmare that he has vowed never to return to Godamsterdam.
-During Bill’s getaway to Uruguay he took a wrong turn and wound up in Decatur, just north of the equator.
Join us for a Saturday night at Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 9 to 1…
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/08/19 - 11/09/19
Absolute Blue Airlinizes
We are often asked why we don’t play more far reaching and exotic locations such as Deland or Yeehaw Junction. Our response is normally that we stay local by design, in an effort to keep it real with our good friends and family. But this is only partly true. And since the investigative branch of the Ladies Home Journal blows the lid off the story in their upcoming issue, we finally come clean. Due to a number of international and domestic incidents, we have all at one time or another been restricted to certain types of travel. Turns out it’s relatively easy to get on the No Fly list, but some of us have overachieved in this capacity and wound up on the No Fly, Sail, Rail, Canoe and Do Not Swim list. Still not sure about that last one but it may have to do with that time Don attempted to use Kevin as a floatation device. And remember, when we talk about air travel there are pros and contrails. There are those that believe that there is an overreaching government conspiracy to use chemicals to sedate and control us and those that are wrong. In any case, a synopsis of our travel woes:
-Tom tried to use his wayward son as a carry on. Spirit was not amused.
-Turns out Kevin’s personal item was a little too personal as a quick stop at Fairvilla Outlet before takeoff resulted in a confiscation of multiple battery operated marital aids.
-Bill insisted he sit over the right wing.
-When describing the clarity of his new iPhone, Skip referred to the new, clear device prompting multiple body cavity searches.
-Don tried to board with a 2X4.
Join us for a very special Saturday afternoon at the Uptown Art and Cuisine Festival at The Avenue in Viera, where we will be playing 4:30 to 7:30…
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