Absolute Blue Invitation 6/26/20 - 6/27/20

Absolute Blue Recommencisizes

It’s official: We are back!

We have three venues that are back in full operation as well as another that has agreed in principle to begin full bands next month. So get ready to enjoy some abundantly mediocre entertainment.

We are often asked what we’ve been up to during this down time and what you may not know is that while we combine to create a cohesive musical force, our individual tastes in music are many and varied. So we held some group sessions to explore this musical diversity. I played  Schubert and Bill said It’s Sonata Music, but I still think it is. And never knew he was Italian. I played a Vivaldi piece and said it was Baroque and Don said he was low on cash too. We talked about steel drums but Bill swears he paid retail. I asked Skip about a Fender and he said he didn’t say anything to her. So we decided individual study was best. Turns out we invented and copyrighted new music genres. And if you plan on using any of the below please send a check to Absolute Blue, c/o Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, Parole Division. Note ‘Live Hamsters’ on the outside and it will get right to us:

-Tom combined the most unlistenable elements of Western and Soul and came up with Alamotown.

-Bill used his love of hard rock and Breaking Bad to introduce Heavy Methal.

-Don finally admitted that his love for Louisiana music has caused a condition known as Zydecodependency.

-Skip developed a highly questionable prenatal program to foster a love of singing he calls Embryodeling.

-Kevin, being a big fan of Muddy Waters as well as the inverse of exponentiation created Logarithm and Blues.

Good to be back.

This Friday please find us at Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne from 6-10…

Then Saturday it’s back to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11….

Absolute Blue is Back!

The wait is over! Almost.

Be sure to make plans for our triumphant return, beginning June 26^th at Mainstreet in downtown Melbourne.

Followed shortly by June 27^th at Squid Lips in Melbourne.

And if that’s not enough, how about an open Fourth of July party at Major’s Golf Club in Palm Bay, 1 to 4…

Make plans for any or all of these events as we return to our own brand of normalcy…

Absolute Blue Invitation 12/13/19 - 12/14/19

Absolute Blue Astrolizes

In a desperate attempt to recoup our fourth quarter losses, including significant capital lost on the GMO modified lactose free milk substitute called Ledendairy, our BDSM themed November event, Spanksgiving and our sponsorship of the rerecording of Shatner’s spoken word album, The Vinyl Frontier, we make our first attempt at crashing the launch industry. I mean if that Tesla guy can do it, how hard can it be? So we would like to introduce SpaceXXX, an equal opportunity employer, providing exciting careers for everyone from call girls to strippers to gigolos, and our featured product, PornStarLink: Bringing adult entertainment to the most remote corners of the world. We will be using a variety of innovative propulsion systems, from big old rubber bands to a highly sophisticated array of M-80’s. This is in addition to our autonomous droneship, Of Course I Still Love You As A Friend. We plan to set up shop just behind the Never Accomplishing Space Again headquarters. And for this we make no apollogies:

-Don proposes a new clothing line he calls Simply Ripley, at least until we get sued for copyright infringement, as our working model of the new generation Extravehicular Mobility Unit was really just a modified leisure suit.

-Bill’s work with advanced plumbing fixtures has resulted in the first Geosinkronous orbit.

-Skip plans to sublet the ISS into the world’s first Low Earth Orbit Airbnb: Make the Space Station your Vacation!

-Kevin attempted to launch a fish using a modified slingshot but failed to reach the troposphere. And with that we lost our first basstronaut.

-Tom has already named the first three recovery vehicles: ‘What Did You Do With My Coffee?’, ‘I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up’ and ‘Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself’.

Join us for a Saturday evening at the Crab Stop in Sebastian, on Indian River just north of Main Street, from 6 to 9…