Absolute Blue Invitation 05/31/19 - 06/01/19

Absolute Blue Titilizes

We at Absolute Blue Inc. have come to regard ourselves as the elder statesmen of the Brevard entertainment scene, perhaps even local music royalty. But one thing missing from our collective comprehensive resume is a proper designation. Try as we may, the closest we ever came to a legitimate title was when Don won the Sexy Legs contest in 1998. And that was even fixed. So where do we go for our long awaited recognition? Like anything else we turn to the dark web, where we can purchase a series of titles from a website called RoyaltyForRoyalties. We seriously considered ‘Discount Viscounts’ or even ‘Squires of Desires’, but we wanted something more personal, something that spoke to our individuality, that confirms that we don’t conform to the norm. And after much negotiation and some questionable payoffs we have officially adopted our new designations so heretofore in the future we shall be known by the following:

-Don: The Dalai Lama of Melodrama, for his frequent temper tantrums and overall petulance.

-Skip: The Czar of Guitar, due to his musical prowess and tyrannical fashion sense.

-Kevin: The Baron of Carin’, mostly because of his many philanthropic endeavors.

-Bill: The Emir of Light Beer. Also known as The Duke of Puke should he find himself offshore.

-Tom: The Pope of Nope.

Join us for a Saturday at Sandbar in Cocoa Beach at the end of 520 from 9 to 1…

Absolute Blue Invitation 5/24/19 - 5/25/19

Absolute Blue Assemblizes

2019 Court Mandated Absolute Blue Annual Shareholder Meeting Minutes

7:55 Sneak past security into Satellite Beach City Hall council chambers

8:00 Call to order. Bill asks recording secretary for a round of beers thinking she is a waitress.

8:03 Don moves to add his rap version of America the Beautiful to the set list. No second. Just bewilderment.

8:05 Kevin moves to incorporate his newfound passion for yodeling into the performance. Unanimously vetoed.

8:07 Bill pleads for shots of jaeger for the board, then orders Domino’s.

8:08 Tom proposes shorter sets or long bathroom breaks, depends. Motion ignored.

8:10 Skip recommends that all rehearsals be clothing optional. Motion passes without opposition.

8:12 Awkward silence.

8:15 Bill reaches for a bottle of hand sanitizer.

8:21 Further discussions tabled until pizza arrives.

8:25 Police intervene.

8:26 Chaos.

8:35 Potential charges explained.

8:37-12:00 Timeout.

Join us for a Friday night at Sunset Waterfront Grill in Cocoa Beach, on 520 just west of A1A, from 5 to 10...

Then Saturday it's Malabar Mo’s from 6 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 5/03/19 - 5/05/19

Absolute Blue Botanizes

Just as the Absolute Blue division of Research and Development completed their findings on essential oils, which turn out to be suntan, crisco and 10W40, we find that trends are changing and now the emphasis is on botanicals. So there’s juniper in gin, coriander in skin care lotion and St. John’s wort in breakfast cereal. It’s hard to give up our carnivorous lifestyle but we’ll do anything at this point to stay relevant. And considering how much we’re willing to play requests we’re sure to put the hor in horticulture. As we understand it, to unlock the power of the flower you must believe in the leaves, salute the roots, put the petal to the metal and heed the seed, lest ye be pistil whipped. And to capitalize on this growing craze we plan a line of imitation plants we call fauxtanicals, including:

-Skip developed a vine he calls the North Carolina creeper that is so pervasive and virulent it may require a restraining order.         

-Don went directly against USDA regulations to create a flowering bush he calls the Verboten Croton.

-Bill bought contaminated lab equipment on eBay when he tried to create a new strain of American Beauty and wound up with the first trichinosis roses.

-Tom had so many problems with his perennial hybrid he put the ‘be gone’ in begonias.

-Kevin’s foray into synthesizing common flowering plants led to the development of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buttercups.

Join us for a Friday at Gator’s Dockside, formerly Millikens Reef, at Port Canaveral from 6 to 10…

Then Sunday it’s back to Sandbar in Cocoa Beach at the end of 520 from 4 to 8…