Absolute Blue Invitation 11/22/19 - 11/23/19

Absolute Blue Travelizes

Despite our recently disclosed and internationally documented travel quandaries, there was a time when The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love called exotic and far flung locales home. From Kevin’s extensive military tours to Tom’s attempt to elude authorities through a series of EU nations, we have left an indelible mark on many a foreign city. You could say we put the rock in Morocco. Or the bull in Bolivia. Or the dumb ass in Damascus. But Syriasly we could go Lebanon and on. Most of the band did love Haiti and Oregon, less Mauritania, but me, Utah. Like anywhere else, in time we were asked to leave, so we had to say goodbye to Dubai, farewell to Seychelles, adieu to Peru, ciao to Macau and hasta la vista to the Sandinista. A few of our international highlights:

-Skip, after house arrest in Budapest, had so many problems getting into Nepal, he wound up in Cantmandu.

-Don visited all the pubs in Dublin and thinks he remembers when Tunisia was just one. Or maybe that was Amnesia.

-Tom was traveling in Southeast Asia where the busking community thrives, however was cited, convicted and barely escaped jailtime for Singing Poor in Singapore.

-Kevin’s dream of visiting the Netherlands turned into such a nightmare that he has vowed never to return to Godamsterdam.

-During Bill’s getaway to Uruguay he took a wrong turn and wound up in Decatur, just north of the equator.

Join us for a Saturday night at Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 9 to 1…

Absolute Blue Invitation 11/08/19 - 11/09/19

Absolute Blue Airlinizes

We are often asked why we don’t play more far reaching and exotic locations such as Deland or Yeehaw Junction. Our response is normally that we stay local by design, in an effort to keep it real with our good friends and family. But this is only partly true. And since the investigative branch of the Ladies Home Journal blows the lid off the story in their upcoming issue, we finally come clean. Due to a number of international and domestic incidents, we have all at one time or another been restricted to certain types of travel. Turns out it’s relatively easy to get on the No Fly list, but some of us have overachieved in this capacity and wound up on the No Fly, Sail, Rail, Canoe and Do Not Swim list. Still not sure about that last one but it may have to do with that time Don attempted to use Kevin as a floatation device. And remember, when we talk about air travel there are pros and contrails. There are those that believe that there is an overreaching government conspiracy to use chemicals to sedate and control us and those that are wrong. In any case, a synopsis of our travel woes:

-Tom tried to use his wayward son as a carry on. Spirit was not amused.

-Turns out Kevin’s personal item was a little too personal as a quick stop at Fairvilla Outlet before takeoff resulted in a confiscation of multiple battery operated marital aids.

-Bill insisted he sit over the right wing.

-When describing the clarity of his new iPhone, Skip referred to the new, clear device prompting multiple body cavity searches.

-Don tried to board with a 2X4.

Join us for a very special Saturday afternoon at the Uptown Art and Cuisine Festival at The Avenue in Viera, where we will be playing 4:30 to 7:30…

Absolute Blue Invitation 11/01/19 - 11/02/19

Absolute Blue Exodizes

A stunning turn of events unfolded at the Absolute Blue Inc annual shareholders meeting, held for the 22nd consecutive year at an undisclosed Hooters location coinciding with quarter beer night. Along with coming within one vote of being renamed Bandy McBandface, it was overwhelming voted that we should leave the longstanding association that has been a part of Absolute Blue for over 20 years. This has long been debated by Don against a split faction that has since become known as the Never Trumpeters. The original idea of inclusion into the organization was to provide common goals and services. But this has soured as of late and there is an effort to cut these ties, now called Blexit, with the Southern Office Division of the United Musicians of Brevard. It is hard when we remember how long we have been SODUMB but we needed to make a stand for a more autonomous organization, and reduce our reliance on other bands. It will undoubtedly be a long and sometimes painful process but we are committed to this decision which will ultimately put us in the best position to be successful in the future. Among the changes:

-It is expected that this will open up trade to foreign markets which will be critical for fourth quarter revenue estimates and give us a chance to finally unload our substantial backlog of Don bobbleheads, or Dobbleheads, to an unsuspecting public.

-If not handled judiciously, this could wreak havoc with existing sponsorships, most notably Old Milwaukee Light and 7-11 brand frozen burritos, leaving us with only contracts with either Odor Eaters or adult undergarments, depends.

-We will be responsible for our own border security, handled by Don, who has been keeping up with his Jazzercise home videos, and Kevin, having just completed a series of Zumba classes. We are therefore ready for what is expected to be a full frontal assault from an unnamed local band.

-This leaves a significant power vacuum in the SODUMB infrastructure as Tom was a founding member of the steering committee, Bill led the strategic planning team and Skip made cupcakes every other Thursday.

Join us for a Friday night at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…