Absolute Blue Invitation 7/16/21 - 7/18/21

Absolute Blue Socializes

It was all supposed to be so easy. We started with a simple goal of increasing our online presence. But it’s hard to say where it went terribly wrong, when we created a tic tac Tick Tock or the Youtube that few viewed. Instead of charging forward to expand our digital footprint, we instead sounded a full retweet. It seemed there was only one last application we could try. We met both individually and collectively to determine the exact type of content that would be applicable for our versatile solutions to modern living. Unfortunately, we underestimated the stature of our audience and our postings were deemed so immature and childish that it was suggested they belong on Infantgram. We could physically hear our cyber existence diminish into irrelevance. Therefore, you will in most likelihood never get to experience the following:

-Skip tried to leverage his real time Bombay and Sapphire tasting to become the first ginfluencer.

-Bill created a complex evaluation of the current state of pornography which got him banned from several social media sites, the Space Coast Regional Airport and the Satellite Beach PTA in his effort to create the original role of skinfluencer.

-Don posted repeatedly about the potential legalization of a variety of substances in his attempt to establish himself as a heroinfluencer.

-Kevin used his extensive culinary skills to publish a series of pairings to become a vinfluencer, then later specialized in off dry to sweet rose selections as a zinfluencer.

-Tom’s disastrously misogynistic take on women’s issues resulted in him being banned from the internet entirely, so his plan to be the inaugural estroginfluencer is at least temporarily on hold.

A big weekend is in store for The Worst Band You’’ll Ever Love starting with a Friday night at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…

Then Saturday it’s the Summer Bash at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

And Sunday we’re back at Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 4 to 8…

Absolute Blue Invitation 7/09/21 - 7/10/21

Absolute Blue Musicizes

Music is the universal language. It can unite us, move us and reach us in ways no other medium can. It can unite us, but more importantly it can also enrich us. Which is why we have put together a number of different ways that we can repurpose, revise and remarket songs that have become part of our collective musical experience. These should need no introduction but with only slight modifications can produce significant revenue streams with the right type of licensing. For example, we took the initiative to secure the rights to a Journey song specifically for funerals called Don’t Stop Bereavin’. And many automotive service centers are already interested in our Zeppelin feature, When The Chevy Breaks. Course we may have gone too far with our Doors offering which pits Lutheran and Episcopalian musical groups against each other, Fight My Choir. But we are sure to score a hit with some of our other selections such as:

-A Marvin Gaye inspired automated motivational messaging service, Textual Healing.

-Another Zeppelin offering geared toward golf course promotion, Fairway To Heaven.

-A feature marketed to Jimmy Dean products brought to you by Stealers Wheel, Stuck On The Griddle With You.

-A Jim Croce take on Corona, Lime In A Bottle.

-A marketing strategy for Supertramp’s GPS app, lest you Take The Wrong Way Home.

-A Steely Dan themed campaign for proctologists, Feeling In The Rears.

Join us this Saturday at Mainstreet Pub in downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 6/18/21 - 6/20/21

Absolute Blue Nauticalizes

Over the course of many years, Kevin has inspired us with his tales of nautical adventures and taught us to view the majesty of the open water with equal parts of respect and awe, to learn about the creatures that inhabit its mysterious depths with wonder and reverence as we develop new strategies to murder and eat them. But its also about managing these resources, as we found with the Carp A Diem program which turns out to be a bag limit, and even ways to mitigate these. For example, did you know that there is a specific plea that can be entered should you be cited for being over limit? Similar to Insanity, you may plead ‘Grouper Stupor’ and let your walleye be the fall guy. We are also attempting to provide an enhanced maritime experience, by developing a sounder flounder, a less crappy crappie, a more dapper snapper, a way to better cook snook, or perhaps more herring for sharing. We have compiled a short list of the more memorable seagoing experiences by the Absolute Bluegills, because when others say Pompano we say Pompayes:

-Behold, the most spiritual creature of the ocean, the Amenome.

-Kevin once caught the king of all billfish, one he calls Marlin Brando.

-For The Shining fans, Skip brings you the Red Drum.

-Tom once saw a sport fish as big as a Steinway which could be the first sighting of the rare Piano Tuna.

-Bill’s interest is focused on a devastating invasive species, the Big Lionfish.

-In New York Don has caught massive numbers of fish used for Baptist Friday Fish Fries, the Church Perch.

Please join us for a Friday night at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

Then Sunday it’s Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…