Absolute Blue Invitation 5/31/13 - 6/02/13

Absolute Blue's Solipsism
 
Before we continue we would like to clarify a few things. Contrary to public belief we at Absolute Blue do not condone not participate in the tomfoolery, monkeyshines, shenanigans, twaddle, chicanery, hypocrisy and/or highjinks that have been commonly associated with The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love. Sure, Don once super glued a senator’s butt cheeks together and Kevin made over 12,000 prank calls in 2012 alone, but these are isolated events which we hope to put behind us as soon as the statute of limitations has expired. So it's not just drinking beer, mild cursing and fart jokes when we're not playing. That's actually when we ARE playing. But seriously, there is another side to the band as well. We decided to make the most of our time off and use this break for peaceful introspection and rumination, as each member pursued their unique discipline:

Skip completed his multi part analysis of Sartre’s ‘Transcendence of the Ego’ and completed volume II of his response to the contradictory nature of the work, albeit in crayon.

Don continued his hobby of researching nineteenth century impressionists from Degas to Pissarro and completed his replica of Morisot’s Cradle composed entirely of Bud Light bottle caps.

Kevin began an intense examination of Italian Neorealism reviewing the works of De Sica and Visconti as well as staging a companion piece to Rosselini’s Paisan specifically for Muppets.

Bill took time to extend his knowledge of linguistics, focusing this time on the dead languages of Sanskrit and Sumerian, translating volumes of historical text beginning with Dr Dre.

And Tom had some warts removed.

We have prepared a very special weekend for you beginning Friday at Squid Lips from 7 to 11…

Then we move on down to Grant with a performance at The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina from 6 to 10…

And we finish things up at Coconuts Sunday from 2 to 6…

Absolute Blue Invitation 5/17/13 - 5/19/13

Absolute Blue’s Marketization

As The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love embarks upon yet another ill-advised marketing campaign, tentatively titled ‘Another Desperate Attempt at Relevancy’, we have searched long and hard for a truly good idea to plagiarize. We had to be careful as our So Simple A Drummer Can Do It campaign got us served by Percussionists International and more recently we received a cease and desist order from Jake…from State Farm. We were leaning toward The Relentless Pursuit of Mediocrity after we decided we don’t really want to know what’s in your wallet and did in fact leave home without it. So we decided to go with something truly original:

They tell Aerosmith which way to walk.

Mick claims to move like Don.

Once got Journey to stop believin’.

Dylan actually knocked on Kevin’s door.

They fooled the Who again…and again.

Axl took them down to Paradise City.

At Creedence’s request they stopped the rain.

They are…the most interesting band in the world…

Join us for a most interesting weekend, beginning Friday from 7 to 11 at Cocoa Beach Pier…

Then Saturday night it’s a private party at Sebastian Beach Inn…

And Sunday we return to SBI for an afternoon performance from 2 to 6…

Absolute Blue Invitation 5/10/13 - 5/12/13

Absolute Blue's Reality

We have finally received clearance for our newest reality tv show called 'Band Wagon'. It's a simple concept: a series of local musicians live aboard a flatbed traveling at 25 mph with nothing to live on but stale CheezIts and their collective wits. Which means Absolute Blue should be eliminated within minutes. One by one, contestants will be voted or bludgeoned off by former contestants, celebrity hosts and NRA members until one remains. Participants will strategize, alliances will be created and trysts will form. Contestants will compete for prizes such as a national recording contract, a state of the art sound reinforcement system and 10 minutes in a closet with Nicki Minaj or Mariah Carey (or 5 minutes with both). Or course there will be surprises along the way, such as Weapons Time, where contestants will be armed with blunt instruments such as cowbells and trumpets, and a 'Jump On The Band Wagon' segment where former competitors will have a chance at redemption if they can overcome the onslaught of insults and bodily fluids thrown by participants and successfully leap onto the 'Wagon'. The combination of mayhem and bloodletting will render all other reality shows irreverent if not irrelevant. Dennis Rodman has agreed to host, who will share his unique form of detente as well as fashion tips. Obvious merchandising implications include Remington, Crisco and Levitra, so it's as good as gold...

We start a big weekend at Lou's Blues in Indialantic from 9:30 to 1:30 Friday...

Then it's Squid Lips in Melbourne Saturday from 7 to 11...

And we celebrate the Mother of all Days Sunday from 2 to 6 at Coconuts...